The Past becomes Present...maybe

As a result of the worst date of my life, some potentially good things might happen. That horrible night when I was very upset and needing someone to talk to, one of the people I had called was someone from my past. This particular person, AS, was in my life in a very serious way for over a year, but we have not spoken to each other in a few months. When I called him, he did not answer, and I realized later that it was just a moment of weakness on my part, and hoped that he would just ignore the missed call. Well, he didn't and decided to call me the next morning. We talked, and he was very concerned about why I had called him. I told him what happened to me the night before and he was very caring in his responses. Later that afternoon, I saw that I had a text from him asking me if I had any plans that night. I told him no, and we decided to go mini golfing and loser buys ice cream.
From the moment we met at the mini golf place, it felt easy and totally comfortable. We joked around the whole time and had a lot of fun. Of course I lost the first round, so I had to buy the ice cream, but I was ok with it even though I HATE to lose!!! AS and I then went to DQ for our treats, and decided to sit outside and talk while we ate. It was an awesome night outside, and our short trip for ice cream turned into a two hour conversation full of catching up on family, work, and school. It felt so nice to be talking with him again, but also weird at the same time. We also talked about things that went wrong in our relationship, and things both of us could have done to be a better partner. We of course faced the demons that had occurred during and after our breakup. I sheepishly admitted to him how much he hurt me by the actions he took after our breakup and all the stories I had heard. Even though this was not a fun topic to talk about, it had to be faced for us to move on.
When I got home that night, I was so confused on what I really felt. On one hand, this was the person that I had fallen in love with and invested most of my time. On the other hand, this was also the person that made me cry (a lot) and broke my heart. The time we spent together that night reminded me of why we were ever together in the first place, but I also could not ignore all that had happened in the past. We talked later, and decided that we would just take things as they come and be friends as of now, and what happens happens.
AS came over to my place tonight and made me the best pizza ever!!! We ate, drank wine, and watched a movie. He got to meet my dog, Izzy, which went surprisingly well since he is not a big animal lover. The whole night was once again simple, easy, and fun. But I am not going to lie, there were a couple of moments when I felt those same feelings for him that I had in the past, but I tried to push them away. After the movie, we hugged goodbye, and I was left feeling confused more than ever. I have no idea what to do or what to feel. I am so scared of getting hurt again, but I cannot help the way I feel about him either. I guess we will just have to wait and see which one wins out, my head or my heart...~Kimberly